"Well chaps, one day I was traveling through the north lands. Beautiful land, but blinkin' cold! Anyway, I come across this flippin' tall tree. Actually I should'nt say I came across it, since I'd spotted it when I'd been miles away. This tree was taller'n any tree I'd seen before, and I says to meh'self "Tawney, that looks like a jolly well good spot to climb up and have a look around, see if I can spot any berry bushes, apple trees, that sort of thing. So I climb the first branch, and and the second, and third. I see miles and miles of land and mountians. I see far off rock faces with thin white mist passing them. Well, about this time I'm bally high up in this flippin' tree, so I decide I'll have a look downwards. Well I just about fall offa that branch, meh footpaws become unsteady, so I cling to the trunk as best I could. I take one more look around just to see if I can spot any vegitation, ya' know a hare has got to eat once and a while. I'm just about to climb down when one of those jolly big northland birds lands on my branch. He says to me "Ach! Whet are ya dooin' en mah' tree?"
I can't help but notice his sharp beak, and he taps those talons on the branch. I decide to answer very blinkin' carefully;
"I say sah! Wot do you think you're doin' in my tree eh? Get those blinkin' claws a' yours offa my branch! Bad form sah! I say, bad call wot wot!"

Now the bird's eyes glint and he clacks his beak. I decide I'd said the wrong thing, but I figure it's too late to act friendly, I might as well bally die with some kinda' fight.
So I un-cling meh self from the tree and stand on the branch, balancing-like, and I say "Don't you snap at me beak-face! I say meh old chap, back off wot! I'm just havin' a bally look around if ya' don't mind eh?
Now I'm prepared for a certian death, but I just eye that bird and I don't let meh self show fear.
The bird opens his beak...and wot does 'e do? He starts laughing! So I scowl at 'im indignantly and ask 'ih wot is so funny. He says "Ah yoore a ri'te fierce lit'le beastie. Nah, Ah doon't meind ef yeh climb mah tree then."
I say I say, wot a jolly good relief that was. So I thank the bird and climb down. And I find mehself a flippin' apple tree. I gathered some apples and I start headin' south and I could still hear that blinkin' bird laughin' from somewhere up in that tree. I say, That may be one of the last times I go to the northlands, heh, chaps are too blinkin' territorial with their flippin' trees wot wot!